Why “All or Nothing” Almost Always Fails
How to Change Your Habits Without Feeling Overwhelmed
Have you ever decided that Monday would be the day you changed everything? I think we can all say that we have tried and failed multiple times throughout our lives at New Year’s resolutions - I know that I have! These are a few examples of resolutions or goals that I made with myself and failed miserably at:
I am going to stop eating bread
I am not going to drink alcohol for all of January
I am going to restrict my caloric intake to 1500 kcal per day
I am going to cut out sugar, dairy, gluten (I had previously failed, but since succeeded)
I am going to cut out artificial sweeteners
I am going to go to bed by 10 and get up by 7
I am going to avoid toxic people
I am going to meditate for ten minutes each day
The reason why I failed - I usually tried to do several, or all things at once!
Usually within a few weeks, maybe even just a few days, I began to cheat here and there until ultimately, I completely self-sabotaged.
Isn’t it nice to know that you’re not alone?
This is the cycle so many of us fall into: all-or-nothing thinking. And more often than not, it leads straight back to where we started—or worse, leaves us feeling defeated and burned out.
Since having my thyroid removed when I was 18 (I had thyroid cancer), I have always struggled with my weight. I never felt good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, I just never felt ENOUGH. I thought that by losing weight, boys/men would want me, I would get a better job, and have more opportunities presented to me. While all those things may be true, I did it for the wrong reasons. Now at the ripe old age of 59, I want to be healthy and live a long life in which I am physically active and continue to do the activities that I love.
I want to share an example of an “If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is” scenario. About 20 years ago, a doctor asked me if I wanted to lose some weight. Well, that was a no-brainer! She told me about a new diet called HCG (formerly known as the Simeons Protocol). On this diet, you injected yourself with HCG (pregnancy hormone), and it essentially allowed you to survive on 500kcal per day while you lived off of your fat stores. The weight melted off my body, and I was skinny at last. I was so thrilled to be wearing a size small - I felt sexy and unstoppable. The kicker with this diet is that you couldn’t eat ANY sugar in ANY form. When you have survived the three weeks, you can go back to eating 1500kcal per day and miraculously not gain any weight……EXCEPT if you were to accidentally get sugar or any carbs in your mouth. This includes the hidden sugar in things like ketchup and salad dressing. If you gained 2 lbs. or more, you had to do what was called a Steak Day. You skipped breakfast and lunch and for dinner ate the largest steak you could, cooked in butter, and followed with an apple. CRAZY right? It actually worked. There was some chemical reaction that was supposed to take place that would pretty much guarantee the 2 lbs. would be gone the next day.
You can see where this is going. This was a cycle that just kept going. I would manage to keep the weight off right up until my winter ski trip. When I did it freely, the weight came back on exponentially. So, like any normal person, what did I do? I did another 21 days of HCG. Then summer would come along and summer vacation…..Rinse. Wash. Repeat. This went on for 10 years until I finally realized I was slowly destroying my body and my metabolism. It took me decades to figure out how to get the strong, healthy body that I have always wanted - and I can assure you that there are NO SHORTCUTS - not even with the new weight loss drugs.
Here’s the Truth:
Sustainable change doesn’t come from doing everything perfectly. It comes from doing one thing consistently.
The most powerful, lasting transformations come from small, doable shifts, stacked over time. I repeat……The most powerful, lasting transformations come from small, doable shifts, stacked over time.
5 Simple Ways to Start (Without Overhauling Your Whole Life):
1. Pick One Thing
Choose one habit to focus on this week, and don’t go “all in” even with that!
Examples:
I am not going to quit smoking yet, but I am going to cut back from 10 cigarettes per day to 5
I want to drink 8 glasses of water per day, and I will try, but I will guarantee at least 5
I am going to walk around the block in the morning. I will try to take another walk in the evening, but I am committed to my morning walk.
I will cut back my two glasses of wine to just Saturday and Sunday
Once that feels natural, then—and only then—add another, or expand upon that goal.
2. Make It Ridiculously Doable
Set the bar low on purpose. I can’t emphasize this enough. If you are like me, you want to go all in! 99% of the time, this is not going to work.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about building trust with yourself and your ability to keep moving in the right direction
If you aim for 5 minutes of movement instead of an hour, you’re more likely to stick with it - you can always add more and give yourself a “high five” for the bonus effort
3. Track Small Wins
Write them down or reflect each night:
“I walked after dinner.”
“I drank my water.”
“I paused before stress-snacking.”
Be proud of your accomplishments. Acknowledging them is an important component and helps build your self-confidence.
4. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Sometimes we take a step forward and two steps back. Not to be cliche, but just pick yourself up by the boot-straps and get back on that horse. If I had a dollar for every time I said to myself - “Well, Andrea, you already blew your diet, so you may as well go for broke and eat whatever you want, “ I would be a rich woman!
Did you show up, even a little? Did you do better than last week? Did you at least not do any worse? - That’s worth celebrating.
Beating yourself up for a missed workout or an imperfect meal is a waste of energy and precious life. Shift your focus to what’s going right.
5. Get Support
You don’t have to do this alone.
Whether it’s through the 8-Week Wellness Reboot or simply having someone to cheer you on, accountability matters.
We’re wired for connection, especially when making changes that feel hard. This is why so many people thrive in group settings, whether it is a support group, a group exercise class, a running club etc.
How the Wellness Reboot Breaks the Cycle:
We won’t do:
🚫 Extreme restriction
🚫 All-or-nothing rules
🚫 Quick-fix promises
We will do:
✅ Balanced, anti-inflammatory eating
✅ Gentle movement that supports lean muscle and metabolism
✅ Mindset coaching to stop the cycle of self-sabotage
✅ Tools that are realistic and sustainable for life
The Takeaway:
✨ Small, consistent changes > giant overhauls
✨ Perfection isn’t required—only progress
✨ You’re far more capable than you think
Ready to start small?
Join me for the 8-Week Wellness Reboot—where we focus on doable steps that build real, lasting change within a supportive and safe environment.
We start July 15, but you can start saying yes to yourself today.
Become a Paid member todday and get ready to THRIVE!
Your Next Steps as a Paid Member:
Download your Wellness Reboot Starter Kit if you haven’t yet.
Get ready for our official start on July 15—your first workout and weekly goals will be in your mailbox.
You’re not doing this alone.
I’m here to guide you, encourage you, and help you stay on track—no matter where you’re starting from.
Let’s reboot—together.